Macca

Last but not least here is my final child Mackenzie whom is soon to turn 19 and shes given me an ultimatum to be around for her party in 3 weeks. When I've had my sick periods over the last three years Mackenzie has been a regular at my bedside. She has given me countless relaxing foot and hand rubs to make me feel better and even given me shaves in bed during periods post surgery when this was beyond me. Macca is very observant and always wanting to know the current status and details of my Synovial Sarcoma and treatment coming up and details of side effects. She especially didn't like the chemo phases!
She has given me a lot of comfort just often through her presence and being there. Macca is very beautiful and talented and painted the graphic at the top of my blog "let's get him" when just 15. It's an amazing image and really highlights the challenge with the disease that we needed to overcome.
For all my children I feel sad that they have had a "sick dad" since they been young and through most of their teenage years. I would have liked to have had some more active years with them, and for them not to experience the pretty tough and frontline post treatment side effects and impacts on my body and mind e.g. "Someone get a towel and bucket Dads just been sick" or "Dads a bit manic today he's on steroids to overcome chemo side effects" etc etc.
But the kids have just mucked in and provided support got involved and done their bit. Another upside to this, plus with me not working for most of this time, is that we've become closer individually and us a family unit. We've been fighting this together. I've have also had many periods of relative wellness and we've made the most of these to live life and have new experiences e.g family trip to Samoa.

I've also hoped that my treatment and the outcome will have no lasting detrimental impact on Kat and the Kids; but that they will come through as better and stronger people. Of course there will be grief and they will miss me in daily life, but in time they will work through this.

"Grief is the price we pay for love" - Queen Elizabeth the 2nd

And unfortunately we can't control the timing of our death.... "Jesus has a place ready and he wont take you there untill it's the right time" John 14

Dad xx