- What are these new pain issues; I am experienced with pain; but this is new, uncomfortable and debilitating; Is it going to get worse?
- I can no longer work; I like business, my customers, colleagues, business networks etc; I am not ready to leave my profession yet but I must and now.
- Getting the out of control medical situation in control; dealing with the resulting and horrid side effects. Restarting or facing new procedures is always difficult and I don't like it.
- They've started using the words 'palliative' care and that I'm now allocated to the 'hospice' support team. I understand why and I really like the people and care that I'm being given but I don't like these words and the implications. My hospital team, whom I respect, have made a decision on likelihood on curable outcome. There is always hope but I also want to be prepared.
- How will I talk to my children about all this?
- What are our priorities for living now, mid term, how much time?
- Whom are my support team I need around me; who are the fun team?
- What will I have for lunch, food is very high on my priority list at present thanks to some medication.
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
Calm after the Storm
We've ended up in a pretty calm and good place. Lots of talking and gaining acceptance of current situation; making plans for doing some fun stuff; plans for getting some practical things sorted; plans for getting through next chemo better and more smoothly, no time for waste; lots of time for reading and learning and becoming stronger in faith. Lots of time allocated for nice people and hugs.