Calm after the Storm

When your prognosis takes an unexpected and detrimental swerve off a perceived existing course it takes awhile for you to take stock and collect yourself. Many things swirl around in your storm cup (mental, medical and practical) and there is urgency in resolving or at least prioritising the issues. For me the issues were many many and included;

• What are these new pain issues; I am experienced with pain; but this is new, uncomfortable and debilitating; Is it going to get worse?
• I can no longer work; I like business, my customers, colleagues, business networks etc; I am not ready to leave my profession yet but I must and now.
• Getting the out of control medical situation in control; dealing with the resulting and horrid side effects. Restarting or facing new procedures is always difficult and I don't like it.
• They've started using the words 'palliative' care and that I'm now allocated to the 'hospice' support team. I understand why and I really like the people and care that I'm being given but I don't like these words and the implications. My hospital team, whom I respect, have made a decision on likelihood on curable outcome. There is always hope but I also want to be prepared.
• How will I talk to my children about all this? 
• What are our priorities for living now, mid term, how much time?
• Whom are my support team I need around me; who are the fun team?
• What will I have for lunch, food is very high on my priority list at present thanks to some medication.

I have not separated Kat from my storm list, we are so interconnected; although our issues are different, "You are going ... But I am staying" and we've been processing this all together which has been extremely helpful.

Even Dolly Parton threw in some random and helpful input during the week:

We've ended up in a pretty calm and good place. Lots of talking and gaining acceptance of current situation; making plans for doing some fun stuff; plans for getting some practical things sorted; plans for getting through next chemo better and more smoothly, no time for waste; lots of time for reading and learning and becoming stronger in faith. Lots of time allocated for nice people and hugs.