Humor is infectious. The sound of roaring laughter is far more contagious than any cough, sniffle, or sneeze. Laughter is strong medicine for mind and body, it is a powerful antidote to stress, pain, and conflict. Nothing works faster or more dependably to bring your mind and body back into balance than a good laugh. Laughter; relaxes the whole body, boosts the immune system, decreases stress, triggers the release of endorphins and protects the heart. Read more here.
So supporters please post your best joke or link to something funny on internet in comments area below. :-)
This guy (Ardal O'Hanlon)cracks me up
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k0V8Fgt78l8
There are a few other good clips of him posted on YouTube.
Knock, knock
ReplyDeleteWho's there?
You ever hear the joke about the broken pencil?
You ever hear the joke about the broken pencil who?
Nevermind, it's pointless.
In Ireland there is a mental institution that every year picks two of it’s most reformed patients and questions them. If they get the questions right they are free to leave.
ReplyDeleteThis year the two lucky gents were Patty and Mike. They were called down to the office and left there by the orderly. They were told to wait as the doctor got their files. The doctor came out and motioned for Patty to come in for his questioning. When Patty came into the office he was instructed to sit in the seat across from the doctor.
"Patty you know the tradition of this institution so I imagine you know why you are here. You will be asked two questions, and if you get them right, you will be free to go. Do you understand all that you have been told?" said the doctor with a rather sly grin.
Patty nodded and the doctor began to question him. The first question was this. "Patty if I was to poke out one of your eyes what would happen?"
"I would be half blind of course," Patty answered without much thought.
"What would happen if I poked out the other eye?"
"I would be completely blind," said Patty knowing that he had just gotten his freedom. The doctor then sent him outside while he drew up the paperwork and accessed Mike’s files.
When Patty got into the waiting room however, he told Mike what the questions would be and what the correct answers were.
The doctor calls in Mike and he followed the same procedure that he had with Patty. "Mike the first question is what would happen if I cut off your ear?"
"I would be blind in one eye," he said remembering what he had been told. This received a perplexed look from the doctor but he just simply asks the other question so that he could figure out what the man was thinking. "Mike, what would happen if I cut off your other ear?"
"I would be completely blind," he answered with a smile as if he knew he had passed.
But then the doctor asked him what his reasoning was, and he said flatly, "Me hat would fall down over me eyes."
What do you give a sick lemon?
ReplyDeleteLemonade.
Why don't giraffs drink tea?
It would be cold before it got to their stomach.
Jokes as told to me by a 5 year old and I have loved them ever since.
Got my son an iPhone for his birthday the other week, and recently got my daughter an iPod for hers, and Dad was dead chuffed when the family clubbed together and bought him an iPad for father's day.
ReplyDeleteThen he got me an iRon for my birthday. It was around then the fight started......
This will probably stir up trouble.... but the funniest joke ever......
ReplyDeleteTwo women were sitting quietly minding their own business.......
LOL funny jokes... Miree, Peter especially enjoyed yours. Big Dog Talking, I have heard you in full swing, is this as good as it gets or the only decent ones you have for publication? Any other funny supporters out there, NB you don't need to register to post.
ReplyDeleteGirls night out
ReplyDeleteTwo women friends had gone out for a Girls Night Out, and had been decidedly over-enthusiastic on the cocktails. Incredibly drunk and walking home they suddenly realized they both needed to pee. They were very near a graveyard and one of them suggested they do their business behind a headstone or something. The first woman had nothing to wipe with so she took off her panties, used them and threw them away. Her friend however was wearing an expensive underwear set and didn't want to ruin hers, but was lucky enough to salvage a large ribbon from a wreath that was on a grave and proceeded to wipe herself with it. After finishing, they made their way home.
The next day the first woman's husband phones the other husband and said, "These damn girls nights out have got to stop. My wife came home last night without her panties." "That's nothing," said the other. "Mine came back with a sympathy card stuck between the cheeks of her butt that said, 'From all of us at the Fire Station, We'll never forget you!'
LOL!!!!
ReplyDeleteSimon said... Come on is that your real name?
ReplyDeleteSimon says...
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDeleteA teacher asks her class to use the word contagious.
ReplyDeleteRoland, the class swot, gets up and says, 'Last year I got the measles and my Mum said it was contagious.'
'Well done Roland,' says the teacher. 'Can anyone else try?'
Katie, a sweet little girl with pigtails says, 'My Gran says there's a bug going round and it's contagious.'
'Well done, Katie,' says the teacher. 'Anyone else?'
Little Johnny jumps up and says, 'Our next door neighbor is painting his house with a 4 cm brush and my Dad says it will take the contagious.'
Children Writing About the Ocean...
ReplyDelete1) - this is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly, age 6)
2) - Oysters' balls are called pearls. (Jerry, age 6)
3) - If you are surrounded by ocean, you are an island. If you don�t
have ocean all round you, you are incontinent. ( age 7)
4) - Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily
Richardson. She's not my friend any more. (Kylie, age 6)
5) - A dolphin breaths through an asshole on the top of its head. (Billy, age 8)
6) - My uncle goes out in his boat with 2 other men and a woman and pots
and comes back with crabs. (Millie, age 6)
7) - When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the
ocean. Sometimes when the wind didn't blow the sailors would whistle to
make the wind come. My brother said they would have been better off
eating beans. (William, age 7)
8) - Mermaids live in the ocean. I like mermaids. They are beautiful and
I like their shiny tails, but how on earth do mermaids get pregnant?
Like, really? (Helen, age 6)
9) - I'm not going to write about the ocean. My baby brother is always
crying, my Dad keeps yelling at my Mom, and my big sister has just got
pregnant, so I can't think what to write. (Amy, age 6)
10) - Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can
give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think
they have to plug themselves in to chargers. (Christopher, age 7)
11) - When you go swimming in the ocean, it is very cold, and it makes
my willy small. (Kevin, age 6)
12) - Divers have to be safe when they go under the water. Divers can't
go down alone, so they have to go down on each other. (Becky, age 8)
13) - On vacation my Mom went water skiing. She fell off when she was
going very fast. She says she won't do it again because water fired
right up her big fat ass. (Julie, age 7)
14) - The ocean is made up of water and fish. Why the fish don't drown
I don't know. (Bobby, age 6)
15) - My dad was a sailor on the ocean. He knows all about the ocean.
What he doesn't know is why he quit being a sailor and married my mom.
(James, age 7)
Not funny
ReplyDeleteInspirational
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R9ya9BXClRw&feature=related
Guy in a taxi wanted to speak to the driver so he leaned forward and tapped him on the shoulder.
ReplyDeleteThe driver screamed, jumped up in the air and yanked the wheel over. The car mounted the curb, demolished a lamppost and came to a stop inches from a shop window.
The startled passenger said "I didn't mean to frighten you, just wanted to ask you something."
Taxi driver says "Not your fault Sir. It's my first day as a cab driver, I've been driving a hearse for the past 25 years".
Feeling a bit glum, try out this bawdy humour.. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qcModfyaknE
ReplyDeleteCathy is disgusted when she gets an unwanted phone call from a prank caller making lewd remarks, so Mrs. Brown gives him a taste of his own medicine
Sure to give you a laugh... lots of other clips of Mrs Brown on youtube
It is very funny! If the link doesn't work just put in 'Mrs Brown dirty phone call'
ReplyDelete[one for the Laugther is the Best Medicine post]
ReplyDeleteAn elderly Italian gentleman lived alone in New Jersey. He wanted to plant his annual tomato garden but it was very difficult work as the ground was hard. His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament:
Dear Vincent, I am feeling pretty sad because it looks like I won’t be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I’m just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. I know if you were here, my troubles would be over. I know you would be happy to dig the plot for me, like the old days. Love Papa
A few days later he received a letter from his son:
Dear Papa, Don’t dig up that garden! That’s where the bodies are buried. Love Vinnie
At 4am the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologised to the old man and left. That same day the old man received another letter from his son.
Dear Papa, Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That’s the best I could do under the circumstances. Love you, Vinnie.